Time will Tell

August 2019

It seems as though every doctor and nurse we spoke to was sharing with us that moving forward with fertility treatments takes time. Time is strange. It seems to take forever, and yet go by so quickly.

K had the varicocele surgery. It was an interesting day to say the least. He was anxious and that made him quiet -quieter than usual. I tend to fill silence with idle chatter. So, there we were, K was anxious, and I was nonstop talking. We had to wait until late in the afternoon for the surgery. We tried to pass the time in the morning by sleeping in as long as we could. We tried to pass the time in the waiting room through reading and tight hand holding. We tried to pass the time in the pre operation room through quiet conversations and eaves dropping on nurses. I passed the time waiting for K by reading. I don’t remember what I read. I don’t think I comprehended a word of whatever book it might have been.

The doctor found me and took a seat in front of me. He reported that everything went very well. He shared the varicocele was larger than he was expecting, which is great! Maybe it will have a greater positive impact. He said K should make an appointment in September to go over new test results.

The end of June brought the last day of school. This was a challenging day because it also brought the end of my time teaching at this school. The school had been my home for the last five years. I think the right choice is working closer to home. I think the right choice is not having a full-time classroom as we start our first round of IVF. I think this will help alleviate some stress. Only time will tell.

In July, we spent time with friends at the lake and lots of time playing golf. I read and laid out in the sun as much as possible. Time in the sun reading is one of my favorite activities. We played games and drank countless bottles of good wine. July was a lovely month.

In August, we went on a trip to Scotland and Amsterdam. We visited Edinburgh to see my sister. I hadn’t seen her for 5 months! That is a long time for her and I to be apart. The second I saw her in the airport I burst into tears. It was so nice to be with her and spend time together. K and I then traveled to Amsterdam, where we wandered the streets, floated down the canals, walked through museums, and shared all of our anxious, excited, hopeful thoughts.

Now, we wait. We pass the time with cleaning the apartment. My sister will be moving in with us for some time when she gets back from Scotland. Catching up with her and spending time with D, my sister, back in our lives will also help to pass the time. We wait for our next tests and the next steps.

I asked K for a time quote to round out this short recap of the last months. After several minutes he responded, “time keeps on slipping, slipping, into the future.” We will also spend the time laughing.